One Direction alum Liam Payne opened up about his deteriorating mental health during the peak of his career. The singer reflected on his time in the band and shared that even when he hit “rock bottom”, no one knew because he was good at hiding it.
The Live Forever singer appeared on Monday's episode of The Diary of a CEO podcast and talked about having a hard time dealing with his newfound fame in the initial days and his unhealthy consumption of alcohol, and drugs. During a conversation, he revealed some of the things about himself that he has never spoken of before.
"I was worried how far my rock bottom was going to be. Where's rock bottom for me? And you would never have seen it. I'm very good at hiding it," Liam confessed to host Stephen Bartlett. "No one would ever have seen it."
The 27-year-old singer then shared some grave information that he had to deal with for a while and talked about his suicidal ideation. Liam has never revealed having these thoughts before, and this was the first time he seemed to be opening up about his mental health.
“There is some stuff that I have definitely never, never spoken about. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem. And it was only until I saw myself after that I was like 'Right, I need to fix myself.'"
"There were a few pictures of me on a boat and I was all bloated out," Liam continued. "I call it my pills-and-booze face. My face was just like 10 times more than it is now. I just didn't like myself very much and then I made a change."
Liam said that his mental health was in such shambles because he was only a child when he was put under a global spotlight. According to him, even if he didn’t want to drink alcohol or consume drugs, it was the only way he knew of to blow the “frustration.” He further added, "As a teen, the one thing you need is freedom to make choices and freedom to do stuff. We were always locked into a room at night. And then it would be car, hotel room, stage, sing, (explicit). So, it was like they pulled the dust cloth off, let us out for a minute to go 'Woohoo' then it's like 'Get back underneath here!'"
One Direction members parted ways in 2016, but Liam recently divulged he is in touch with his bandmates as they can all relate to each other.