Granger Smith revealed he contemplated taking his own life in the wake of being laden with grief over his son River’s death.
In a new interview with Entertainment Tonight, the former singer reflected on the many unhealthy ways he tried to get through it.
“I would wake up in the middle of the night many times and I would wake up and go, ‘I lost my son,’ and then I couldn’t go back to sleep. It was every night, so I would take weed in some form so that hopefully I would sleep all night and it worked.
“It felt good and so then, I thought, well, I might as well go and have in the morning, too, in case something happens at breakfast and then I might as well make sure around lunch time… And then I thought if I don’t have it I’m in trouble and the slideshow’s gonna overtake me,” the Remington artist shared.
During one of the tour stops years ago, Smith revealed he considered ending his own life to escape the pain he felt.
“I just wanted to end it all, when the weed wasn’t working anymore and the alcohol couldn’t numb it…,” he shared.
The images of his other two children, Lincoln and London, appeared before him, and he instantly regretted his actions.
“I slid the gun out of my hand and it hit the bank and I fell down on the floor and I was crying and I was horrified at my shame and my guilt and the weakness I was and the lack of strength that I had and the weak man I that I was.
“It all hit me at once, and that was the beginning,” Smith said, referring to his interest in pursuing ministry after announcing retirement from music in April.
River, whom the country singer shared with wife Amber, tragically lost his life to a drowning incident in 2019. He was only three.
Since the heartbreaking loss, Smith has been open about his struggles with coping with the insurmountable grief.