Nick Cannon opened up about his irreparable grief of losing a child on one-year anniversary of his son, Zen’s death.
The 42-year-old multi-hyphenate star took to Instagram Monday, Dec. 5, sharing a trio of photos of him and Zen, alongside a lengthy caption.
"Physically, I'm definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I'm broken," he wrote.
Cannon’s 5-month-old son, who he shared with model Alyssa Scott, died after a battle with brain cancer last year.
He revealed he’s been restless upon arrival of Zen’s “painful” death anniversary. “Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn't sleep at all.”
The TV host when to explain the pain of losing the child, calling it the “heaviest, most dark and depressive experience that I will never get over.”
"A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart," he shared.
He added, "I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could've felt more of that love while he was here on Earth."
Referring to his recent hospitalization for pneumonia, Cannon concluded, "I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don't waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now…Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you."