Brandi Carlile is touching on her devastating addiction to steroids and sleeping aids.
In this week's PEOPLE issue, the Grammy-winning singer reveals how she took the help of steroids to fight tireless touring schedules and cysts in her vocal cords.
"I had a problem. And the problem is that I thought that sedating myself was normal," Carlile says. "The way I traveled and the way I navigated this country was with the help of a lot of sleep aids. All my friends were doing that to sleep on tour buses and on planes so they could get up and go to the radio stations. No one told me that it wasn't normal or that accidents can happen."
Carlile then recalls the time when she accidentally took six Xanax during an appearance in New York.
"I suddenly realized with a shot of adrenaline and shame that I was staring down at six Xanax that I was about to pop into my mouth and go back to sleep," she writes in the book. "I don't know if I would have ever woken up."
After the unfortunate incident, Carlile decided to take help and quit taking steroids for good. The singer reveals she is in a much better place now.
"I say no now," she says. "I will cancel things now. If I'm sick, I will not take steroids and play a show and hurt my voice that I depend on, that so many people depend on."